1. When driving through Madison, I will no longer throw my empty vodka bottles out my car window without being sure I can hit the recycling bins
2. I will try to be nicer to Scientologists. Really. No, Really. I said I would try.
3. I will remember to use the good wax when I wash Charlie Sykes’ car.
4. I will find something nice to say about Ed Garvey (I may need help with this).
5. I will stop teasing Democratic political consultant Bill Christofferson about singing “Sailing”.
6. I will stop visiting the web sites of moving van companies and signing up Scott Newcomer for the mailing lists.
7. I will stop sending “free drink” coupons for taverns to the State Attorney General’s office.
8. I suppose I will also stop prank calling the tavern league asking them if the Attorney General is there.
9. I will stop sending proposals to the governor’s office for a riverboat casino on the Fox River in Waukesha run by the Wigderson/Norwegian tribe. Hey, my ancestors were here before Columbus, too.
10. I will get myself on Ann Althouse’s blogroll without her getting a restraining order against me.
11. I will not use bald jokes when describing the governor after November.
12. I will try to find a nice way of telling a candidate for political office when they are going to lose other than, “Gee, Bryan Kennedy, when you decided to run again against Jim Sensenbrenner, did you remember to budget steel underwear? Because he’s gonna kick your ass.”
13. I will not call Assembly Speaker John Gard a corn flake.
14. I will stop trying to bribe the East German judge at the “Blog of the Week” contest.
15. I will only argue with Dad29 on minor philosophical points that nobody else gives a damn about.
16. I will only use bleu cheese stuffed olives in my martinis.
17. I will remember to pick up Charlie Sykes’ dry cleaning.
18. I will not sing Air Supply songs in a karaoke bar.
19. I will not automatically assume “Some Assembly Required” is a Chinese Communist plot.
20. When my son asks for a glass of milk I will not offer him a beer instead – even though it’s cheaper.
