Have a t-shirt, idiots

It’s 3:00 AM at the White House. The phone in the president’s bedroom rings. President Obama answers the phone. It’s his national security advisor and he needs the president to make a life-or-death decision that could affect the fate of the free world.

It’s now 3:10 AM. The phone rings at the Vice President’s residence. It’s President Obama, and as usual he needs help. Senator Biden, are you sure you want to do this?

Let’s set aside the questionable wisdom of picking a running mate somebody who publicly said Senator Obama is not ready to be president. Let’s also set aside the “above my pay grade” comment reminding voters he’s unqualified to be president.

Senator Barack Obama's moral equivalence between the United States' invasion of Iraq and Russia’s invasion of Georgia is a sad reminder of Jimmy Carter in the 1970s. We all remember how well that worked out. In the immortal words of Mark Levin, what a dope.

Then to try a class-warfare tactic and attack the number of homes owner by Senator McCain and his wife was really stupid. None of McCain’s homes were purchased with the help of Tony Rezko, which even Mark Halperin thought was the debate Obama does not want to have. Oops.

The only thing saving Obama from being the Idiot Politician of the Week was picking a running mate who was for the war before he was for the war, and called for the surge before he supported a surge. If it wasn’t against Senate rules, we would send a case of “I’m with stupid” t-shirts for Senator Biden.

Some politicians talk of investing in America, other politicians live it. But state Sen. Rob Cowles' investments in America were of the red light variety, pretty embarrassing for a politician. According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s Dan Bice,

Cowles was calling to say his San Diego-based broker had sold all of the senator’s shares of Rick’s Cabaret International and VCG Holding, two publicly traded companies that run upscale strip clubs around the country.

Rick’s Cabaret also holds an annual Gentleman’s Club Owners Expo and publishes several magazines, including TEEZE and Exotic Dancer. The Web sites run by the company include names such as “coupletouch,” a site for swingers; “naughtybids,” an online auction site for pornographic items and services; and “xxxpassword,” which gives subscribers entry to unlimited porn sites for $39.95 a month.

On the other hand, Cowles’ investment advisor defends the investments as a good, sound business decision. So is Cowles an idiot for holding onto these stocks, or picking Gary Tremble as his investment adviser?

Hot stock tip: San Francisco is considering legalizing prostitution, including stopping the police from investigating child prostitution. Look for stock offerings well-positioned to take advantage of the stupidity of San Francisco’s city council. A case of t-shirts for the whole city.

Over in Sacramento, Vice Mayor Steve Cohn gave into pressures not to show Breakfast at Tiffany’s, preferring to show Ratatouille. Mickey Rooney’s performance in Breakfast at Tiffany’s apparently offends Asians. Doesn’t Ratatouille offend snobby Parisians, gun-toting grandmas, and PETA?

Isn’t the most offensive part of Breakfast with Tiffany’s the well-kept writer/gigolo? Where’s my protest sign?

But alas, none of them beat Sheboygan County Circuit Judge Timothy Van Akkeren, overturned this last week by the court of appeals. Van Akkeren actually said that because a suspect turned over two weapons before being searched, the police had no probable cause to search him further. The court of appeals overturned Van Akkeren, and Wisconsin Attorney General JB Van Hollen even got off a good line at Van Akkeren’s expense, “There’s no two-knife limit on the streets.”

Look, it’s bad enough when you invent a stupid rule like law enforcement is a kindergarten game. But when even JB Van Hollen gets to stand next to Van Akkeren wearing the “I’m with stupid” t-shirt, there is no question Van Akkeren is the Idiot Politician of the Week.

Newsom wants to challenge the Terminator

The Sacramento Bee is reporting San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom has begun preparations to run for governor of California.

Newsom's exploratory bid is an effort to get ahead of what could become a crowded Democratic field in 2010. He can use the committee to solicit donations in $24,100 increments, building a war chest 23 months before the Democratic primary for governor.

His timing - opening an account on July 1 -- means he will not have to reveal how much money he has raised for more than six months, until early 2009.

Attorney General Jerry Brown has intimated that he, too, will jump into the race. He reported raising more than $200,000 in June in his reelection account. He recently renamed the account from "Jerry Brown for Attorney General" to "Jerry Brown 2010."

"I don't do too much these days except sue people," he said in a March speech at the state Democratic convention. "But someday maybe I'll get around to doing more than that, and hopefully you'll help."

Lt. Gov John Garamendi has all but said he is running and 2006 candidate and former state Controller Steve Westly and state Superintendent of Public Instruction Jack O'Connell are expected to seriously consider the race.

State Treasurer Bill Lockyer is sitting on a $10 million campaign account, while Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is a widely discussed candidate, though he first must win reelection in 2009.

Maybe Newsom will explain his concept of the rule of law at the debates.

James Wigderson and his critics

As you may have gathered from the comments on this post, my views on the proper limits of the courts were not exactly unanimously supported. Dave Fabie, a former Wisconsinite now living in San Francisco, takes special umbrage at my blog post and column.

Okay… So apparently the biggest “fear” that was facing the state of Wisconsin prior to 2006 was the looming terror of being “forced” to accept two consenting adults of no direct family relation living together in a committed and legally binding relationship?

Wow.

Now granted, it has been a few years since I lived in Wisconsin, but I was born there, and I did grow up there. Strangely enough, I don’t recall people living in “fear” about that.

As to the claim that "activist judges" are rewriting our laws circumventing the democratic process, this is nonsense. Very easily packaged nonsense, sound byte-ready nonsense, but still nonsense.

If in 1860 you had put emancipation to a popular vote, it would have failed. If in 1960 you had but integration to a popular vote it would have failed. For that matter if in 1776, you had but independence to a popular vote it would have failed. The reason we have a judicial branch is balance of powers, remember that one from social studies?

Let me point out that I certainly did not indicate any priority list of fears, only that we have established that it was a fear with good reason that the courts could have compelled Wisconsin to recognize a definition of marriage it certainly did not prefer had it not passed an amendment to it's constitution.

Then my friend dismisses out of hand my concerns over activist judges by pointing to three particular instances of when government acted possibly contrary to the popular will. I would remind my friend that this precisely why we have a republican form of government, representational rather than direct democracy. After all it was representational government that acted on emancipation and independence rather than the courts.

If anything, instead of worrying about Wisconsin's worries, I suggest Dave concern himself with the balance of powers in his adopted state. Not only is it out of whack, but the surrender of republican government has been acquiesced in by those elected to defend it.

As for the rest, certainly irrelevent to the point I made, no?

I thought the whole point of the torch relay was for it to be seen

If the Olympics organizers and the police are going to play "hide and seek" with the Olympic Torch, what's the point of continuing with the relay?

After its parade was rerouted and shortened to prevent disruptions by massive crowds of anti-China protesters, the planned closing ceremony at the waterfront was canceled and moved to San Francisco International Airport. The flame was put directly on a plane and was not displayed.

The last-minute changes to the route and the site of the closing ceremony were made amid security concerns following chaotic protests in London and Paris of China's human rights record in Tibet and elsewhere, but they effectively prevented many spectators who wanted to see the flame from witnessing the historic moment.

And just why are we allowing Chinese security to operate in the United States?

Torchbearers in other cities have complained of aggressive behavior by paramilitary police in blue track suits sent by Beijing to guard the Olympic flame. Although there were no major problems reported in California, they did make their presence felt.

At least one torchbearer decided to show her support for Tibetan independence during her moment in the spotlight. After being passed the Olympic flame, Majora Carter pulled out a small Tibetan flag that she had hidden in her shirt sleeve.

"The Chinese security and cops were on me like white on rice, it was no joke," said Carter, 41, who runs a nonprofit organization in New York. "They pulled me out of the race, and then San Francisco police officers pushed me back into the crowd on the side of the street."

What do you mean the story changed?

I write my Waukesha Freeman columns (always worth the fifty cents) on Tuesday to see them run on Thursday. That means anything that happens on Wednesday can really screw me up.

I had two really solid columns that I wanted to do this week. One was on the Great Lakes Water Compact and the other was the possibility of a school tax referendum. With the school board meeting tonight to discuss a possible referendum I went with the less-fun-but-ultimately-more-important Great Lakes Water Compact. After all, the two sides are far apart, the Assembly Republicans are in no hurry, and this mess probably won't be resolved until June at the earliest. Heck, there was a chance this thing wouldn't get resolved at all this year. I thought briefly about a comment on the Beijing Olympics, but the American part of the ongoing disaster was occurring when? That's right. Today, a Wednesday.

So of course while I twiddled my thumbs today Googling every five minutes what was happening out in San Francisco, the governor reached a compromise with the Assembly Republicans. I found out with a call from the newspaper asking me if I wanted to update my column in light of today's events. Events? What events? They did what? When? Why would they want to do that? Don't they know it's Wednesday?

I'd like to remind my readers in Madison that bi-partisanship does not always make good copy even when it achieves good results.

Dammit. I hope they got the corrected version in time.

Update! They did. It's safe to flip past the comics and your horoscope tomorrow directly to the Opinion Page.

Now this is costing money

Whether or not the United States boycotts the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony to protest China's treatment of Tibet, we sure as heck should have boycotted the stupid torch relay.

Hundreds of security officers deployed across San Francisco for the flame's only U.S. stop. Activists fuelled by anger about Beijing's policies in Tibet and its reaction to deadly rioting in the Himalayan region last month were gathering for demonstrations.

Several hundred paraded through the city's streets on the eve of the torch procession, many carrying Tibetan flags and signs and chanting "Shame on China."

On Wednesday, some 700 security officers deployed in the West Coast city and airspace restrictions were imposed. Barricades were set up outside the Chinese consulate.

Coast Guard boats were to patrol the waterfront route of the torch. The relay was to start at 1 p.m. (1700 GMT).

Coast Guard boats? Don't they have something better to do, like search for escapees from Alcatraz or enemy submarines?

I have a solution much more amenable to the San Francisco (not to mention federal) taxpayer. Provide as much protection for the Olympic Torch as they do for military recruiting centers in the Bay area. That torch will be at the bottom of the Bay in no time, and everybody but the Chinese and the Olympic Committee will be happy.

Where's an angry hippie mob when you need them?

How about San Francisco?

Several hundred supporters of Tibet marched through the streets of San Francisco on Tuesday to criticize China before the Olympic torch is run through the city the next day.

"Shame on China," chanted the protesters, many carrying Tibetan flags and signs, as they marched through the streets.

They also protested outside the Chinese consulate.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom said he had been in contact with French and British officials to gain insight on how the city should handle protesters.

Because obviously they did it so well.

If I could be so humble as to offer advice, the protestors should pretend the World Trade Organization is in town. That will get them in just the right mood.

Miller Brewing apologizes for Folsom Fair art

Miller Brewing, under pressure from the Catholic League, sent a letter of apology to Archbishop Dolan and Archbishop Niederauer for the artwork promoting the Folsom Fair. That pressure only increased when Wisconsin's own Jessica McBride, questioned the presence of minors at the homosexual bondage celebration.

The good news is, purely from a comedy perspective, it appears Miller is going to continue to sponsor the festival.

The company said in a statement it has received assurances from its local distributor in San Francisco and from Folsom Street Events that future marketing materials and other activities will fully comply with Miller’s marketing policies and procedures.

“We deeply regret that we did not adhere to our own policies with regard to the Folsom Street Fair,” said Miller Senior Vice President Nehl Horton in the statement. “We apologize to everyone we offended as a result. We hope people will forgive us for this serious error and have confidence we will not repeat it.”

Now that Jazwiec is leaving town I was afraid we might lose all of our comedic material around here.

Oh yeah, like that's going to happen.

Selling beer in Sodom

The Catholic League is still calling for a boycott of Miller Brewing products despite Miller requesting it's logo get pulled from advertising offensive to many Christians. Miller Brewing is still a sponsor of the event, Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

Miller Brewing told Cybercast News Service on Tuesday that although it has supported the Folsom Street Fair for several years, "we take exception to the poster the organizing committee developed this year. We understand some individuals may find the imagery offensive, and we have asked the organizers to remove our logo from the poster effective immediately."

But the Catholic League says Miller's logo is still posted on the website of the street fair. "Miller refuses to withdraw its sponsorship," Donohue said Thursday.

"To top it off, when we informed them that some of the money being raised at this festival was being funneled to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, they were unimpressed."

The Catholic League president described the Sisters as "an anti-Catholic group" that is holding a mock Last Supper dinner Thursday night in San Francisco. The group is not an actual church order but is instead a group of homosexuals who dress as nuns and use names such as "Sister Hysterectoria" while taking part in events that "promulgate universal joy and expiate stigmatic guilt."

The history of the "Sisters" includes such highlights as,

During the Three Mile Island Protest of March 1980, The Sisters performed their "Rosary in Time of Nuclear Peril," including the ever-popular pompon routine. This small group hit big, making every paper and gossip channel immediately. By August they were front page news, chasing hate-mongering Christians out of the Castro and the Polk neighborhoods.

Does the planned boycott include Leinenkugels? Because I gotta say I'm betting the boycott doesn't get too much traction with the members of the Badger Blog Alliance if that's the case. I'm willing to do my part by boycotting Leinenkugel Berry Weiss and Miller Chill. I'm waiting on a ruling from the Pope on the rest of their products.


In the meantime, I expect Miller Beer will still be sold at Catholic Church festivals all over the area next summer. The Catholic League should accept their victory, removal of the Miller logo from the festival's "Last Summer" parody ad, and find something else to be outraged about. Donohue isn't going to change the culture of San Francisco anytime soon, and Miller has a lot of beer to sell.

After all, any beer that was boycotted by Daily Kos can't be all bad.

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