I actually suggested a cheeseburger

Dr. Emil Stuffhausen expresses my frustration from Saturday night:

After escaping in the top half of the frame, its now the bottom of the tenth. Prince Fielder connects to center and deep. His follow-through is a high, one-handed flourish that you've seen dozens of times. Will this game-winning homer be the turning point of the season? Will this homer rank with now-third base coach Dale Sveum's Easter Sunday 1987 walk-off dinger that still gives me goose bumps just talking about it? Get up, get up, get...one #@%*ing inch away from outta here.

Prince "Veggies" Fielder missed the glorious game-winning home run by a McNugget. I will go to my grave convinced that a shake of Baco's on the salad he ate for lunch today would have given him the extra protein oomph needed to get that ball over the fence. This was the chance to win it and I don't need to belabor what happens next.

Fielder then sat on third watching his teammate Mike Cameron go 0-2 before taking the bat off his shoulder to make a weak ground out. Fortunately yesterday's game turned out much better or else I would be thoroughly depressed this morning.

What happened to a diet of hot dogs and beer?

Babe Ruth could never play for this New York Yankees team:

You can't get a Baby Ruth in the clubhouse that was home to Babe Ruth. New York Yankees Manager Joe Girardi has banned candy and ice cream in an effort to create a more healthy diet.

Furthermore, the Journal News of Westchester County reported that the Yankees asked opposing teams to remove the offending items from the visitors' clubhouse before the team arrives. In Tampa Bay, the candy was replaced with nuts, dried fruit and granola, hardly an inspiring rhyme scheme for "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" ( . . . Buy me some peanuts, dried fruit and granola, I don't care if I ever go hoo-ma?).

Do the Yankees understand the history behind the fabled pinstripes? First Prince Fielder becomes a vegetarian. Now the Yankees are having their diets planned by Richard Simmons. They might as well all be playing soccer.