Veggie dogs, soy chocolate s'mores, God and Country

PETA takes advantage of 70 Boy Scouts contracting e coli from some tainted beef to issue a dietary suggestion to National Capital Area Council of the Boy Scouts of America.

As demand for humane, healthy food has grown, sales of meat substitutes and other vegetarian foods have skyrocketed, and now alternatives to animal products can be found in most grocery stores. Guaranteed crowd-pleasers, Boca Chik'n Patties (a vegetarian version of chicken, but with half the fat and none of the cholesterol) and Gardenburger Riblets (a healthier alternative to pig flesh) would be great additions to any of your scouting events.

Will you please consider serving only vegetarian meals at scouting events and allowing scouts to earn a merit badge for eating a healthy, humane diet?

Hmmm. Pig flesh.

Of course, the e coli from the organic lettuce and tomato on your tofu sandwich will kill you just as quickly. And a kid raised on a Vegan diet may live longer, if you call that living. He's also more likely to die his hair black, listen to techno music, wear more make-up than a girl scout, and never learn how to throw a football properly.

See, what PETA doesn't understand is that this would not be nearly as useful as what my kid's cub scout troop is already doing to avoid the threat of e coli. We're teaching them to kill game with their bare hands so there's always fresh meat at the camp site. Small game at first, of course. But by the time they reach Eagle Scouts it'll be wild boar bacon for breakfast at the camp grounds.

This just in

Because of a reference to Lee Holloway as "Wile Lee Holloway", competing pickets have formed outside the headquarters of the blog No Runny Eggs. PETA members and Warner Brothers cartoon characters are both protesting the blog's association of a thug like Holloway with the noble coyote (PETA) and cartoon characters.

PETA spokesmammal Sandi Madhen accused the blogger of speciesism, saying that associating Holloway with Wile E. Coyote was a reinforcement of the stereotype that coyotes are sneaky, dangerous scavengers.

Tensions rose between the two picketing groups when some PETA members accused the Road Runner of engaging in anti-coyote bigotry and oppression. Police moved the PETA demonstration across the street when boxes from Acme with unknown contents were delivered to the cartoon characters.

Blogger Jim Rowen was arrested when he attempted to drive an Acme train as part of the cartoon protest.

Happy birthday, Andy Hurley

If he believes in birthdays. Hard to tell.

From Wikipedia:

Over time, Hurley became a strict vegan and an adherent to the straightedge style of living. He was inspired to pick up the drumsticks early on by Metallica's Lars Ulrich, and though he played in plenty of acts throughout the years including Project Rocket, Arma Angelus, the Kill Pill, and most notably the political metalcore unit Racetraitor.He became most well known as the skinsman for popular Chicago pop-punk group Fall Out Boy. He joined the band in 2003, after they had already recorded their first album, Fall Out Boy's Evening Out with Your Girlfriend. The group steadily built up a loyal fan base following around the country before exploding into the mainstream consciousness with their third album, From Under the Cork Tree, in 2005.

Andy attended University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, double-majoring in anthropology and history. He plans to finish both degrees whenever his touring and recording schedule permits.

Hurley has what some would describe as anarcho-primitivist views, and believes that someday civilization will collapse. When confronted about this in the February 2007 issue of Alternative Press, he claimed that his career contradicted his beliefs, and at the same time, he had to make a living.

Capitalism sucks. Buy our albums.

It must be hard to be a model of artistic pretentiousness when the price of lettuce and black t-shirts just went up. I wonder how his Roth IRA and stock portfolio are doing. Ooh, look, oil stocks are up today.

More on the band:

Although drummer Andy Hurley is vegan and has done promotions for PETA, Fall Out Boy has received criticism from animal rights groups for their use of chimpanzees, an orangutan and a monkey in the music video of "Thnks fr th Mmrs". Despite objections from these groups, the band’s bassist Pete Wentz brought a chimpanzee to the Kerrang! Awards and was pictured at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards with a black and white monkey.

Posers.

Next they'll boycott sniffing glue

PETA reminds us that the price of unparalleled material prosperity is that silly people find themselves with idle hands and extra money to commit folly. Bereft of the spiritual and intellectual tools to have any sense of perspective, the fools of PETA have asked for the suspension of Eight Belles' jockey, Gabriel Saez. Eight Belles was euthanized following her second place finish in the Kentucky Derby after she broke both front ankles after crossing the finish line.

"What we really want to know, did he feel anything along the way?" PETA spokeswoman Kathy Guillermo said. "If he didn't then we can probably blame the fact that they're allowed to whip the horses mercilessly."

Eight Belles trainer Larry Jones said the filly was clearly happy when she crossed the finish line.

"I don't know how in the heck they can even come close to saying that," Jones told The Associated Press on Sunday. "She has her ears up, clearly galloping out."

Guillermo said if Saez is found at fault, the group wants the second-place prize of $400,000 won by Eight Belles to be revoked.

I'm surprised they did not advocate the banning of horse racing entirely. Does anyone have any doubt that the loss of Eight Belles was devastating to her owners, trainers and jockey? What a bunch of insensitive and ignorant asses.