The Green Bay Packers have named Charlie Jackson "defensive quality control coach." Does that mean the defense is now ISO 9001 certified? Is Charlie Jackson in charge of a procedure document binder nobody will ever read, but everyone will know where it is so they can point to it during an ISO audit? Will the binder be under lock and key to keep other teams from gaining the ISO competitive edge? Will there be labels on everything, including the football? (Won't that make it easier for reporters to see [ahem] suspect substances in the locker room if everything is labeled?) Will every play have to be run the same way now that the Packers have implemented their quality control procedures? (Don't they already do that?) Will Brett Favre have to know his mission statement? Will Mike Sherman? Will the defense stop trying for turnovers because the transition from defense to offense will be impossible without knowing where the offense quality binder is? After every play will the defense have to take time to document their procedures and results?
"I'm sorry coach. I know you want to run that play, but I'm waiting for an e-mail back from our quality control documentation expert to determine whether this process has been properly documented as part of my job description and if it's consistent with the company mission statement."
