1) All the cars will turn left, repeatedly.
2) Some cars will not finish the race.
3) Some NASCAR fans will still hate Jeff Gordon.
4) Some lefty wacko will complain about the waste of fossil fuels
5) The cars will still turn left.
6) ...And then left some more.
7) Some fans of NASCAR will proudly call themselves "rednecks".
8) State Senator Dale "Corn Boy" Schultz will watch the race thinking, "Why don't they use ethanol?"
9) "Hey, I think I'm driving in circles! Where's that map?"
10) Some Democrat will make an appearance. They will have nothing in comon with any of the fans in the stands.
11) There will be a crash.
12) I'll watch the highlights on the 10 PM news. (There's Waltrip turning left again)
13) NASCAR fans will complain their sport does not get it's fair share of coverage.
14) Television ratings will be up ...again.
