I'm not looking for interns

Despite the apparent availability of NFL players in the off-season, the Wigderson Library & Pub will not be accepting applications for internships this summer. In the immortal words of business guru Jerry Seinfeld, "A lesser man would have crumbled. They would have gone for the 'dish' and the sure fire sexual-harassment suit." Instead, potential applicants are encouraged to apply at Kramerica Industries.