Jonah Goldberg notes he's likely to win the lottery. "Obviously, I'm going to win it, if for no other reason than it will annoy a lot of leftwingers. I'll do my best to not let it change me. "
If I win the lottery, I promise it will change me. What's more, I promise to ring Lambeau Field with giant billboards with the face of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. The caption will read, "Eight Super Bowls. Five Super Bowl wins. That's America's team!" Then I'll bribe my uncle with a brand new desk so he'll write nice things about me in the newspaper.
From there, I'll go to Madison and put up pictures of Che Guevara laying dead in Bolivia on every billboard in town.
After that, I'll buy the biggest, most gas guzzling SUV I can find and modify it so it consumes even more gas. I'll put a special woodchipper in the back that can eat whole trees.
I will prove Herb Kohl can be bought. I will replace the morning program on WISN radio with the sound of me humming in the shower. I WILL HAVE REAL POWER!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
(This megalomaniacal moment brought to by the Wisconsin Lottery, taxing the mathmatically challenged and overly optimistic poor since 1987)
