After years of Oprah empathizing with everyone's troubles, we get to empathize with hers.
By now most people have heard about how Oprah was turned away from Hermes, an upscale store with locations world-wide. The particular Hermes in question was in Paris where she went to buy a watch for Tina Turner. Apparently they were closed and Oprah was asked to come back the next day. Oprah and her hangers-on insist that had Oprah been white rather than "North African", the store would've served her. Hermes has apologized for not being able to accommodate the talk show talker, and denies any racial motive or statements.
Of course, we're now going to get the larger sociological picture of race relations in America because Oprah was snubbed by the French. From the Associated Press:"
"The presumption in America is that if you have the wealth, you'll get equality - but where's Oprah's equality?" asked Bruce D. Haynes, a sociologist at the University of California, Davis. "It picks up on every inkling of discrimination that a black person might experience in daily life."Yes, most black people on a daily basis will have the chance to have dinner with Tina Turner in Paris. Of course, they'll remember to stop at an extremely expensive store and buy their dinner companion a gift, and they'll be shocked, shocked to discover that people in Paris might not treat them generously. And of course, rude French people are just like Americans and will treat any white American with more favoritism than they will a billionaire black person.
Pulling a DYKWIA has always worked before, so it must've been racism that caused the security person to ask Oprah to come back the next day. Considering how embarrassed Oprah was by the incident, the security guard might well have told her to use the service entrance next time. After all, no white American has ever been rudely treated in Paris, right?
There's only one thing to do. I think we should bomb Paris. Let's do it on the scale of the bombing of Libya in 1986. As Sam Kinison would've observed, this time our pilots won't have to fly so far. After all, racism is the most heinous crime in the world today. And if it's not servicing a customer after closing, tomorrow those rude Parisians might just close the restaurant early because the wait staff only works 35 hours/week. Won't Oprah be embarrassed then. And since Oprah is the most beloved figure in America, and since any insult to her is an insult to African Americans everywhere, let the bombing commence!
