Today is Earth Day

Things you can do on earth day.

Combat global warming. Run your air conditioner all day.

People sweat because of global warming. Use aerosol deodorant, it works better.

Save the birds. Shoot the feral cats.

Save the cats. Shoot the wild dogs.

Protect wildlife by killing an endangered species. The money saved can be used to protect a more worthy species.

Save the krill. Kill a whale.

Save the tuna. Eat more dolphins.

Save landfill space. Kill more trees for paper grocery bags.

Make people aware. Kill trees to print this 1000 times and give it to everyone you know.

Preserve our natural resources. Drive SUVs which are sturdier and last longer.

Save precious oil reserves. Use non-reformulated gas for better gas mileage.