Sunday, July 13, 2008

Return of the Idiots

This week the Idiot Politician of the Week feature is back by demand. We know you missed it. We know you love it. We know politicians hate it. But as they prove weekly, what do they know?

Think globally, accuse locally. That’s my motto. (What’s a motto with you?) Wisconsin Commerce Secretary Jack Fischer has been the local globe-trotter, spanning the globe to bring the wide-wide-world of business to Wisconsin. He and his administrative assistant *cough* have run up huge bills traveling during a supposed state government travel ban. This state’s foreign affairs and commerce can be rather expensive, given the weak dollar. But at a time of fiscal belt-tightening government-wide, we wish Fischer had kept his belt tightened as well.

Speaking of below the belt hits, the Reverend Jesse Jackson is tired of being talked down to by Senator Obama. Speaking on behalf of all African Americans everywhere, like he does when he’s shaking down corporations, the good Reverend volunteered to castrate the senator with his bare hands. Given the resulting higher pitch, I guess that would mean Obama would be speaking up to African Americans.

But Jackson shouldn’t stop at speaking for just African Americans. We’re ALL tired of being talked down to by the Obama. Fortunately, more civilized behavior prevails.

But Jackson must be an idiot if he thinks we’re stupid enough to believe the microphone wasn’t on. The former candidate for president believes that every word of his should be recorded for posterity, except for the extra-marital affair, “Hymietown”… okay, he may have a point.

While Jackson may want to make Rocky Mountain Oysters out of the Obama’s manhood, Senator McCain probably wished he could muzzle former Senator Phil Gramm who accused Americans of becoming a nation of whiners. Democrats immediately started whining that it was unfair, and that Gramm was just being mean.

But McCain himself made a little trouble when he praised tobacco sales to Iran for slowly killing the population there. I’m sure RJ Reynolds doesn’t need their patriotism puffed (pun intended) in quite that manner.

The Obama Himself is not immune to lapses in intelligence, and his brain cells have been a little more fried than usual lately. What idiot within the Obama’s priesthood suggested a speech in front of the Brandenburg Gate, a symbol of the Cold War? Even the German Chancellor is wondering what the heck the Obama is thinking. Maybe he’s going to talk about how we should have definite timetables for withdrawal anytime the Army is deployed overseas, or how in the aftermath of war the US Army shouldn’t restore order or interfere with the internal workings of a foreign country’s politics. The Germans will just love that.

A little closer to home, State Represenative Pedro Colon has cast his hat into the ring for Idiot Politician of the Year. Only 246 of the 400 possible signatures (200 minimum) turned in for his nomination papers, and they’re getting challenged.

Using a state database that matches addresses with lawmakers, the Journal Sentinel found that about two dozen addresses did not appear to be in Pedro Colón’s district. One of the addresses cited in the challenge does not appear to exist.

The challenge includes a sworn affidavit from someone who said they did not sign Pedro Colón’s nomination papers and another swearing that Yadira Colón doesn’t live at the address reported.

We’ll be watching this one.

But this week’s Idiot Politician of the Week Runner-Up had his own election problems. Todd McGuire of Jefferson County, Washington may have voted twice in a 2007 special election by misrepresenting himself as his wife.

The McGuires have been prominent in local Democratic Party activities. Todd McGuire is a former treasurer for current Democratic County Commissioner David Sullivan. Rebekah McGuire is currently a Democratic precinct committeewoman.

The election board became suspicious when the ballots came in during a vote-by-mail election and Rebekah McGuire’s signature didn’t match.

Looking at the documents in question, Todd McGuire's ballot signature closely resembled the handwriting used to sign Rebekah McGuire's mail-in ballot, in her name.The auditor's office sent a letter to Rebekah McGuire questioning her ballot.Not only did Rebekah call the auditor's office and say she was out of the country at the time, she responded to the auditor's letter in a handwritten note delivered to the auditor's office, Eldridge said."Dear Betty Johnson, Donna Eldridge & Karen Cartmel: As I said last week on the phone I could not have voted in the Feb. 6, 2007, election as I was out of the county. Thank you for your attention to this. Sincerely, Rebekah McGuire," Rebekah McGuire wrote in a note.

Note: always clear your vote fraud with your wife.

But this week’s Idiot Politician of the Week is delirious from the heat. Congressman Edward Markey (D-Mass) blamed “global warming” for the infamous Blackhawk Down incident in Somalia.

“In Somalia back in 1993, climate change, according to 11 three- and four-star generals, resulted in a drought which led to famine,” said Markey. “That famine translated to international aid we sent in to Somalia, which then led to the U.S. having to send in forces to separate all the groups that were fighting over the aid, which led to Black Hawk Down. There was this scene where we have all of our American troops under fire because they have been put into the middle of this terrible situation,” he added. Markey was referring to the battle of Mogadishu in 1993, when 18 members of a U.S. military team were killed in a helicopter crash and a resulting firefight. The battle was made famous by a 2001 Academy Award-winning film, “Black Hawk Down.”

Markey was speaking to 25 students from the World Wildlife Fund's Allianz Southeast Climate Witness Program. The students had come to the Capitol to brief members of Congress on the risks of global warming. The students were from the Gulf States.

Congratulations to Congressman Markey. In a world full of idiots, you are the Idiot Politician of the Week. Thank you for your contribution to Global Warming hysteria with your completely stupid exhalation of hot air.