Welcome to the Idiot Politician of the Week, where each week we sift through the politicians and pick the one stand out idiot that causes us to wonder how they feed themselves, let alone get elected.
This week we may have discovered how some of the idiots get elected, with their idiot party’s help. In the big state of Texas, wasn’t anybody in either party smart enough to change the rules ahead of time to make sure they’re on the ballot? Guys, LBJ may be still voting, but he’s dead in the ground. Either get the paperwork in on time, or change the rules.
When the going gets dumb, the really dumb look for places to shop. Proving that all politics are loco, Oconomowoc Mayor Maury Sullivan announced what he heard were the likely chains setting up shop at the “upscale” shopping community of Pabst Farms: Target, Kohl’s, PetSmart, and OfficeMax. Maybe PetSmart sells upscale dog dishes and beds. If this is the best they can do, do we really need to spend over $20 million on a new interchange? Or can we spend $200 at another local PetSmart for the doghouse Maury Sullivan belongs in?
Verifying voters’ identifications as far back as 2006 would be “virtually impossible,” said Village of Mukwonago Clerk Steve Braatz. “We have other work to do besides election work, and we are short-staffed as it is. There is no way we could do this.”
Braatz said that if required to do so, he would be forced to set aside his regular duties as clerk.
“It would affect my work with budgeting, water bills and taxes,” he said. “Those would have to be dropped. This would have an astronomical impact on the general public.”
Because in two years, voter registrations in Mukwonago must’ve exploded more than his abacus and his staff of monk scribes can handle. Psst. Hey Braatz. Did you ever hear of Microsoft? You know, Excel? Access? Databases and spreadsheets?
But to be a real idiot, you need a national stage. Senator Barack Obama has super-duper secret plan to solve the crisis on Wall Street. When The One is elected president, The Obama will part the East River and walk across to Wall Street. The Revelation of His Plan will not only calm the markets, increase credit availability and make everyone whole, His Plan will also cure the sick and cause the blind to see. His Plan is so powerful, it’s like the opening of Ark of the Covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. He can’t reveal it to us now, because it would “roil the markets,” cause the sea to boil and the flesh to fall away from the faces of stock brokers everywhere.
Yeah, right. Perhaps he should have his buddies at Fannie Mae explain it for him to soften the blow. That's if they can be interrupted from their hard work writing checks to the Obama campaign. Congratulations Senator Obama. You are the Idiot Politician of the Week.