Sunday, August 24, 2008

Have a t-shirt, idiots

It’s 3:00 AM at the White House. The phone in the president’s bedroom rings. President Obama answers the phone. It’s his national security advisor and he needs the president to make a life-or-death decision that could affect the fate of the free world.

It’s now 3:10 AM. The phone rings at the Vice President’s residence. It’s President Obama, and as usual he needs help. Senator Biden, are you sure you want to do this?

Let’s set aside the questionable wisdom of picking a running mate somebody who publicly said Senator Obama is not ready to be president. Let’s also set aside the “above my pay grade” comment reminding voters he’s unqualified to be president.

Senator Barack Obama's moral equivalence between the United States' invasion of Iraq and Russia’s invasion of Georgia is a sad reminder of Jimmy Carter in the 1970s. We all remember how well that worked out. In the immortal words of Mark Levin, what a dope.

Then to try a class-warfare tactic and attack the number of homes owner by Senator McCain and his wife was really stupid. None of McCain’s homes were purchased with the help of Tony Rezko, which even Mark Halperin thought was the debate Obama does not want to have. Oops.

The only thing saving Obama from being the Idiot Politician of the Week was picking a running mate who was for the war before he was for the war, and called for the surge before he supported a surge. If it wasn’t against Senate rules, we would send a case of “I’m with stupid” t-shirts for Senator Biden.

Some politicians talk of investing in America, other politicians live it. But state Sen. Rob Cowles' investments in America were of the red light variety, pretty embarrassing for a politician. According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s Dan Bice,

Cowles was calling to say his San Diego-based broker had sold all of the senator’s shares of Rick’s Cabaret International and VCG Holding, two publicly traded companies that run upscale strip clubs around the country.

Rick’s Cabaret also holds an annual Gentleman’s Club Owners Expo and publishes several magazines, including TEEZE and Exotic Dancer. The Web sites run by the company include names such as “coupletouch,” a site for swingers; “naughtybids,” an online auction site for pornographic items and services; and “xxxpassword,” which gives subscribers entry to unlimited porn sites for $39.95 a month.

On the other hand, Cowles’ investment advisor defends the investments as a good, sound business decision. So is Cowles an idiot for holding onto these stocks, or picking Gary Tremble as his investment adviser?

Hot stock tip: San Francisco is considering legalizing prostitution, including stopping the police from investigating child prostitution. Look for stock offerings well-positioned to take advantage of the stupidity of San Francisco’s city council. A case of t-shirts for the whole city.

Over in Sacramento, Vice Mayor Steve Cohn gave into pressures not to show Breakfast at Tiffany’s, preferring to show Ratatouille. Mickey Rooney’s performance in Breakfast at Tiffany’s apparently offends Asians. Doesn’t Ratatouille offend snobby Parisians, gun-toting grandmas, and PETA?

Isn’t the most offensive part of Breakfast with Tiffany’s the well-kept writer/gigolo? Where’s my protest sign?

But alas, none of them beat Sheboygan County Circuit Judge Timothy Van Akkeren, overturned this last week by the court of appeals. Van Akkeren actually said that because a suspect turned over two weapons before being searched, the police had no probable cause to search him further. The court of appeals overturned Van Akkeren, and Wisconsin Attorney General JB Van Hollen even got off a good line at Van Akkeren’s expense, “There’s no two-knife limit on the streets.”

Look, it’s bad enough when you invent a stupid rule like law enforcement is a kindergarten game. But when even JB Van Hollen gets to stand next to Van Akkeren wearing the “I’m with stupid” t-shirt, there is no question Van Akkeren is the Idiot Politician of the Week.