...temperatures were rising as the men and women of the board of trustees were divided fiercely: what will be the name of our sports team? The Old Guard stood firm for the Warriors, arguing tradition, a sense of pride. The Jesuits and the faculty suck-ups refused to yield, saying they will not choose any name that implies violence or is offensive to, er, um, "indigenous Americans". Finally, out of the corner of the room, a disgusted voice rose up and dripping with sarcasm suggested, "Why not just choose a g--dam color and avoid offending anyone?"
Unfortunately, the suggestion was taken seriously. A messenger was sent to the Marquette University English Department for a box of crayons to help the assembled trustees decide which color would represent Marquette University.
While waiting for the messenger, discussion ensued. Red was rejected as both a McCarthyite pejorative, and as a slander against um, er, American Aboriginals. Besides, President Bush, red states, too divisive. Blue was rejected because someone saw that as a marker on a bingo card at the Potowatomi Casino. Green was rejected, not sure why. Black would inspire street gang violence. Copper? Still boycotting Chile for the coup of '72.
Finally the messenger returned. "Sorry it took so long. They were still making smiley faces on students' term papers."
Fr. Wild took the box of crayons, a Crayola big box of 64 colors, opened it up and there it was. His favorite color from childhood, gold. He remembered when he was six years old and how he cried when the gold crayon broke. He looked up at the trustees, "Henceforth our team name shall be the Marquette Gold."
From the voice in the back of the room, "Jes... I'm gonna get a drink."
A crowd of students, faculty and press had gathered outside the building where the conclave was held. Television cameras were strategically placed on the surrounding rooftops searching for a sign. Suddenly, from an old chimney came a puff of smoke. What did it mean? Gold smoke? What are they doing, burning crayons?
Fr. Wild stood before the assembled throng. "We have a team name. The Marquette Gold. And we still won't play UWM!"
There was a long awkward pause before someone spoke up, "You gotta be, sorry Father, kidding me."
